Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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