Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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