Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
