You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
