Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
