Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We need to get me chipped asap
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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