I'm going to jail i love you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
