Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
