I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
