The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
