yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
