honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
