and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she smelled like a LAN party
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
