when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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