I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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