why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
