we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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