He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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