It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
