Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
