ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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