Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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