so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
