you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
