Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
