My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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