i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
where are my eyebrows?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
