we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
