3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
