Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
