you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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