i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
