this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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