I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
