I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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