he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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