And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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