why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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