We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't put those talents on a resume
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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