i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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