I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
