just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
