I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
