a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
