ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
