perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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