i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
