i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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