I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
