Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
