In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
